I am actually probably going to be killing myself. Not in the manner of suicide or anything like that. But in the drawing of change, the old me needs to die off. So with much hard work I hope the transformation I make over the next 8 months will do so. I am burning for a new life, not matter if it is hard or not. I am burning for a new experience.
I have watched the same paintings for to long, locked in a gallery that has the music on repeat and it had fried the inner working of my brain. I feel numb, the comprehension of thought has left me and I am wondering if my voice even registers to the ears of others. So often I am repeating, so often I am on constant lingering of the day before. It is as if the taste of yesterday shall never leave my tongue. Coating it in the thrush of past fungus. It is with in these days m,y determination is changing I am feeling brighter.
I have been called light. I want to be my own light. I want to shred the wooden cages from my form and burst free my wings of bliss and rapture. There is a medicine and one I had never tried. Pride.
Baby steps no more walking on water no more.. It is do or die. My wings are open I no longer want to drown, breaking free with wings for the sky.
Let me fly.